Posted Wednesday July 28, 2010 1 month, 1 week ago
The Detroit Tigers' Justin Verlander pitches against the Boston Red Sox in the first inning of their MLB American League baseball game at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts in this August 13, 2009 file photo. REUTERS/Brian Snyder
-- by Steve Cash-- With so many injuries it is becoming painfully obvious that The Detroit Tigers chances to make the playoffs are fading fast. As they continue to lose players and games, its likely the fan support will wain.
With this in mind I propose the following:
As a brilliant public relations ploy the Tigers sign some everyday Joe to play out the season. The public will love it. This move will show that in these difficult times the Tigers have a heart for the “average guy”. For the fans this will be a perfect opportunity to enjoy some vicarious thrills.
The question of course is if the Tigers agree, who should they choose?
Without sounding too arrogant I would hope they would choose me. If they didn't I would take my idea and go home. However if I was the lucky choice I would not disappoint. Unlike most players I would be so happy and honored to play that I would commit to the following:
I would catch the ball with 2 hands like you are supposed to.
To keep in shape I vow to stretch before the game, after the game and of course during the age old seventh inning tradition.
While batting I promise not to take 5 minutes getting ready between pitches.
If by some miracle I hit a home run I would watch my achievement on ESPN later that night rather then standing at the plate admiring my feat and embarrassing the pitcher.
If they want me to stay, I promise to be loyal to the Tigers for the chance they gave me and not run from team to team like some hired mercenary.
I would lobby to get rid of that antiquated and boring national anthem, and replace it with CCRs center field.
I would lobby to resurrect great old Tiger Stadium and bulldoze Comerica Park and that silly ferris wheel to boot.
I know the article above is ridiculous. I was just having fun. If any of the Tiger management reads this please accept my apology. You guys are doing the best you can with the players you have and you don't need some middle aged nut bothering you.
With this in mind I propose the following:
As a brilliant public relations ploy the Tigers sign some everyday Joe to play out the season. The public will love it. This move will show that in these difficult times the Tigers have a heart for the “average guy”. For the fans this will be a perfect opportunity to enjoy some vicarious thrills.
The question of course is if the Tigers agree, who should they choose?
Without sounding too arrogant I would hope they would choose me. If they didn't I would take my idea and go home. However if I was the lucky choice I would not disappoint. Unlike most players I would be so happy and honored to play that I would commit to the following:
I would catch the ball with 2 hands like you are supposed to.
To keep in shape I vow to stretch before the game, after the game and of course during the age old seventh inning tradition.
While batting I promise not to take 5 minutes getting ready between pitches.
If by some miracle I hit a home run I would watch my achievement on ESPN later that night rather then standing at the plate admiring my feat and embarrassing the pitcher.
If they want me to stay, I promise to be loyal to the Tigers for the chance they gave me and not run from team to team like some hired mercenary.
I would lobby to get rid of that antiquated and boring national anthem, and replace it with CCRs center field.
I would lobby to resurrect great old Tiger Stadium and bulldoze Comerica Park and that silly ferris wheel to boot.
I know the article above is ridiculous. I was just having fun. If any of the Tiger management reads this please accept my apology. You guys are doing the best you can with the players you have and you don't need some middle aged nut bothering you.
From now on I will keep my stupid baseball fantasies to myself. Oh did I mention i’m willing to DH?
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